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Sunday, May 15th, 2005
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11:10 am - Huzzah!
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So Tami Kacia Ali and I went to Ye Oldde Merrye Ren Fairre yesterday (all the extra letters means it's really OLDE) and the highlight must have been seeing "Testiclese and the Sac of Rome" which is Shakespeare's lost tragedy at a full length of 7 hours--but presented in A.D.D. friendly 30 minutes. Yet again I am reminded that a number of people confuse "One Size fits All" for "One Size Fits Small." Nevertheless there are some areas of my breasts that that thanks to above thinking have now seen the light of day---but I've put them away for good now...enough vitamin D for the present.
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(6 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, February 13th, 2005
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10:46 am
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So I visited Buba and we realized something...most of us are uncommonly sarcastic and tacky...what are the odds that we'd all find one another---you think it's some internal device or like a cosmic-consentration of baby-haters and slandder-mongers...like maybe we are all drawn to this spot so it's easier to wipe us all out at once. I'm sure my mother would agree with the last one.
Oh, and work is a super suck fest today---Agnes had more fun with God than I'm having with these guests
current mood:  annoyed
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, January 4th, 2005
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3:17 pm
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So, New Years was very blasty--not in that 'takin out these giant bugs with this blaster' kinda way; more like that 'Woo hoo' way. We just spent the time eating/sleeping/breathing/and playing...which is one step above the standard requirements for a living organism (so well done there). And---no, wait, that's all you get....
~M
current mood:  good
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| Monday, December 20th, 2004
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7:37 am
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I have noticed a conversation trend amongst me and mine the other day. You see, we have somehow very nonchalantly started to speak in words and kines that are more the titles to songs than anything else. Oh, not actual songs that exist, but in new ones--short choppy and kind off-kilter lines...makes conversations fun like this...
1: So, that thing there...yeah, what's that all about?
2: I dunno, Monkey?
1: Not for sale then?
2: Monkey for nothing it is.
1. Stellar!
2: Ultra!
Pauly Shore: Killer
1: It's Pauly Shore?!
2: Seems to be.
1: Monkey for nothing, Pauly for free
Pauly SHore: Have you seen my career?
2: Nope, lost it?
1: Lost it like a prom date looses her resolve
2: Fallen tiara
Pauly Shore: Blood on the sash
1: and monkey for nothing
current mood:  okay
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, December 14th, 2004
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10:52 am
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I was talking to Vinnie last night and he said that he is going to approach his live journal as one producing a paper--that is, with more purpose, direction, and ( of course) editing than the usual transmittal of random thoughts and day to day events that usually are written about. But this is a "journal" and by the very virtue of that name, it's all basically toss drivel. Even in writing this, I thought I would put out a quasi-logical rebuttal to Vinnie's theory, but what I really want to do is brush my teeth 'cuz I just had cottage cheese for lunch, and man, remind me never to eat anything with the words "live culture" on it ever again.
~M
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| Saturday, December 11th, 2004
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11:01 am - Hail Master of the Obvious
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So I'm at work--back in reservations and this woman calls up and asks if we have rooms...For those of you who don't know...I work in a hotel...you know, and we have, well, we have rooms---that's kind of like our thing. I should have told her no. At any rate, as a result of this (and myriad other similar episodes) I have come to the conclusion that people aren't stupid, they are being ironic, in a very obvious very French* manicure nails across a chalkboard way. Yes, full of people with as strong a sense of irony as me**---but perhaps not as great as Tami's. Of course there is a problem with overestimating people...but in the end, I prefer it because I like them to see the look of disapointment on my face when I explain that when they speak a little part inside of Maggie dies. I'm gonna go kill a party clown.
~M
*this is really a brilliant pun, 'cuz you know French people tend to be ironic...it's the whole, "We're going to have a sandwich" thing(***)
** "I believe in God, I have to think there is someone out there with a greater sense of irony than I have" Joel Fleischman, "Northern Exposure"---it was a good show
(***) is it odd that I have foot notes for my live journal?
current mood: frustrated
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| Wednesday, November 24th, 2004
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11:42 am - an involved history of the world with commentary--abridged
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I think Shakespeare said it best when--seeing Elizabeth I's new wig for the first time, comprized almost entirely out of cat fur and molasses--he said, "My eyes! My eyes!"---at least, I think that's what he said...or it should have been what he said if this were a true anecdote, as it is, it is not, so nevermind.
Yours etc. etc.
~M
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, August 10th, 2004
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12:38 pm
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I'm still not sure who is creepier, Teddy Ruxbin or the Snuggle Bear--who I think is named 'Snuggle.' At any rate, they both pretty much freak the Hell out of me.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Thursday, April 29th, 2004
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12:45 pm - I sthat a Manatee?! no it's a Malk-atee
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SO the crazy lady (Mrs. Malk) who live in my hotel (as in I am its bitch not as in I own it) has taken to flashing her tits and walking through the lobby with no pants on. She's 90 and quite lumpy and rolly and mal-formed as it is. But in particular when one has decided to eschew trousers, lumpy/rolly/fleshy bits all tend to move much better...like the insides of a lava lamp poured out onto the lobby floor to ooze across the tiles and take a call at the front desk. When I grow up, I wanna be just liek her!
xoxo Maggs
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, April 15th, 2004
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5:25 pm
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So I've moved out---I already have one of those job thingies---all that's needed now for Hell to freeze over is for me to take up an exercise routine...don't worry it ain't dropping in temp anytime soon.
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, March 13th, 2004
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9:34 pm
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Miss Kitty I need yo help as the e-mails I've sent are all sent back---why because I have crappy dial-up and crappier AOL...Do you have Nancy (Landlady from Cruz) phone #/last name/etc. and can I use you as a reference (I figure I need someone to tell everyone that I make good curry). It's for aprtmenting if you're curious. Anywho, Tiffany-AMber Theissen may be coming to my hotel, in which case, I'm gonna ask who she really liked most, Zack or AC Slater
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(5 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, January 19th, 2004
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8:15 pm
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If I haven't written lately, you know in the last month or five, it's because I haven't really wanted to---or been too lazy to---or I was too busy smuggling art in t the NEtherlands. Which brings me to a good point, why are they the "neatherlands?" I mean, they aren't that far from everything. In fact, parts of Denmark are farther off (Especially if you are France or Italy--and most people who delt with the Netherlands back in the incarnation of the name were most likely French or Italian or even Spaininsh--but not the Basques because they don't really deal with anything, especially Tulip growing windmill nations (let alone common language origins--which is just tacky of them if you ask any linnnnnguist--which I of course have nnot, linguist being on the whole too apt to make Koison click noises at cocktail parties if you give em the chance.) So back to the Netherlands, I think in this new age of global closeness and bed-side manners, it's time to drop the cold distance of the "Neather" and call it somethingng more familier, friendly, like Boblands or Itaintsofarlands. That all aside, My cell phone (a think that I didn't want in the fifirst place as I cherished no hopes of ever needing or using it--not unlike the way Andy feels about his penis--has died, taking with it all of your phone numbers which is why I haven't called. Unlike all those other times when I haven't called, that was because I didn't really want to, or was too lazy, or was too busy smuggling art out of the Not-so-Netherlands.
~M
ps I'm not even going to edit this as for some reason every time I hit spacebar, it skips like three places and everytime I spell Netherlands it likes to add extra ns in it See, Netherlannnnnds...it also did it in linnnnnguiuisit---twice, I think I've erased all the other times
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, July 22nd, 2003
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1:01 pm - it's muggy in San Diego?!
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So last Sunday we had a family party for Oma (she's 82, and even more convinced that she's a gonna die). Everytime she opened a gift (mostly clothes that I picked out 'cuz I'm the only one who takes her anywhere and really, her clothes tend to be on the shy side of terrible)...say, she'd open a new mu-mu "Ach, vhy deed you geet me dis? I'll probablly be dead before I can vear eet" Or how 'bout those nice new shoes I got her, two pairs one winter one summer, both "easyspirit" old lady friendly. "I don't know eef deh good lerd vill geeve me deh time to need both pairs of shoes, Maggie, vhy don't you keep one?" It was horrible, the only thing she seemed to appreciate was her new state-o-the-art papper shreader, and I think that's just because it's the only item that is death related "oooo, a pay-peer shredeer! Perhaps if god eez kind, it will pull me down eento eet vhen I am shredding my publishers clearing house newsletters." Best part though, seriously, we got her a coconut cream pie (she hates cake) and Uncle Steve is holding it to her so she can blow out the candles, as soon as we finish that birthday song, Steve turns to take the pie into the kitchen to be served, only the pie doesn't want to go, the pie wants to stay where it is and make a home on Oma's lap. So she has a whole pie all over her, and all three dogs take it as cue to start eating the cake (practically taking her with it). Everytime Steve tried to appollogize and ask if she wants champaigne/coffee/remnants of pie all she says is "Shut-up Steve" in increasing volume...not pissed, only egging him on. So it ended up good. In other news, still no word from Jonathan who seemingly dissapeared over a week ago. Too bad we don't have any pie left.
xoxo
~M
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| Friday, July 4th, 2003
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4:26 pm
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sooooooooooooo hot....
armsssssssss...mellllllllllll....tingggggggggggggggg...
bigggggggggg sticky melllllllllllllllllllllllty flesh messsssssssss on flooooooooooooor.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Monday, June 2nd, 2003
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6:53 pm
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I am so ugly right now---Jonathan keeps reminding me...I think it has something to do with the toilet paper shoved under my lips to keep them off my teeth---but you know...out of Crest White strips---I gotta ta use the paint on stuff.
xoxo
~M
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, May 27th, 2003
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11:17 am
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| Monday, May 19th, 2003
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11:05 am
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| Monday, April 21st, 2003
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11:41 am - Easter
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Children wee here for easter, thus confirming my theory that all those under 10 are mysteriously covered in some sticky substance...it must be a survival. ---Oh, my dad just poked his head in and asked what I was writing about I said "yesterday" he asked if I was telling ya'll that we got him a famous painting for his birthday and that it was the one time when he was surprised by us...I said no, that wasn't interesting enough to put in a live journal, he looked sad and asked if I could mention it in a round-about way, I said I'd try, he sniffed, shlummped away and said he was gonna burn the painting. ooo gotta go, my sister is on the phone.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, April 1st, 2003
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3:27 pm - Saturday Night
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All I'm gonna say about Saturday Night's free Alcohol and Pretty-People Fest at the Pan-Am Stewardess Paresian Lounge (circa 1967) is "Is he or isn't he?" Tami, you can back me up on this one.
current mood:  mellow
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(comment on this)
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| Saturday, February 15th, 2003
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3:34 pm
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Have been reading from a book entitled "Very Bad Poetry", and while reading through these vivid examples of what not to do, I have realized that these poets have done more than a great many good poets of their eras...namely, have their poems put into books---even a book dedicated to crap. So there is something to the idea of "Well, if you can't be the best, be the worst, it's easier, and you'll still be remembered. Have decided to share a remarkably touching verse with ya'll.
And now, a passage from "An Ellegy to a Dissected Puppy"
by Georgia Bailey Parrington
Sweet dog! Now cold and stiff in death,
What cruel hand enticed thee here?
Did toothsome crust of juicy bone
Allure to stretch on thy bier?
...ruthless hands of alien race
Are opening up thy quiet breast,
With prying eyes they peer within,
Explore the contents of thy chest.
~1907
Next time perhaps an excerpt of James McIntyre, author of "Ode on a Mammoth Cheese," "Oxford Cheese Ode," and "Prophesy of a Ten Ton Cheese"
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utakata's journal